Cry and Carry On

Okay this is going to be slightly different from my usual content, but sometimes you do just need to get certain shit off your chest. So it’s rant time!

You know when you’re just feeling, not exactly shitty, but just “meh” for no reason? I mean, I do have reasons. But the things bothering me today are the same things that bother me nearly every other day, so it just seems a bit pathetic. However for whatever reason, each issue seems to have intensified in my brain by ten. I just kind of feel like I have so many ambitions, so many things I want to have achieve for myself, both professionally and personally, that I’m just about ready to explode. I’m not where I want to be financially or in my career or finished my book. I haven’t felt good about the way I look in a couple of months, but yet I haven’t lost the weight I want to lose. We’re literally only talking a little bit of weight on my stomach I’m trying to get rid of, but ladies I’m sure you feel me. If you don’t look the way you want to, even just slightly, it does fuck with your self-esteem. I need money for a new wardrobe for work, but I don’t have the money and couldn’t even tell you when I would have it. I haven’t even gotten my driving license yet (although now I’ve booked my test, I’m hoping that is only round the corner).

After I get my license and a car, not to mention insurance, then I can focus on saving up to move out. I was originally going to take my mother’s advice and just stay at home until I have enough to buy my own place, rather than waste money over the years renting. But I had forgotten about how much living with my parents, as much as I love them, drives me crazy. After my mother and I had the argument (see Old School Nigerians vs. Westernised Nigerians post), I decided that I was just not in the stage where I could put up with all of it 24/7. I love my family very much, but I feel like us being around each other all the time does nothing but outline our differences and our issues. It’s also just the little things, such as not being able to come home after a long day and blast out some music. Honestly, it sounds like such a minor sacrifice. But for those of you who live alone or in a much more chilled household, I don’t need to tell you how much better it makes you feel after a stressful today, to turn your favourite tune on full blast and pour yourself a large glass of prosecco. Or whatever might be your favourite tipple.

Anyway, as I’m sure you can tell, I have a lot on my mind. I really wish there was a manual on growing up. Of course the majority of lessons need to be learnt through your own journey and experiences. But still, it would have been nice to have a “Life For Dummies” book to have as a back-up. Am I alone in this by the way? Do any of you ever feel like you just want to do so much, buy so many things etc., that you just get so overwhelmed and essentially end up mentally saying, “fuck it” and just not doing anything? Well, maybe I’m being a little hard on myself. I’m definitely persevering with my goal to get my license this year, regardless of how many times I’ve been knocked down. I’m still eagerly pursuing a career in Entertainment PR, being sure to exhaust any possible opportunities where I can get my foot in the door, even if it has to be a receptionist position at a PR agency to start with. Ideally I would like to move out to my company’s Communications Team and keep it in the family, so fingers something opens up soon. So yeah, I am definitely pursuing some things.

But all that just doesn’t feel like enough. I see so many people making moves these days, and it just makes me think I’m really not doing as much as I should be. I have so many great ideas that I could take really far, but I feel like I’m dedicating all my time to my job and leisure. Of course when you have a full time job, spending more than half your time at work is hardly avoidable. However whenever I do have time off, I tend to just relax and do nothing and then feel like a terrible lazy slob when I go back to work and realise I’ve done nothing with my days off. It is difficult though; because when you’re on the go all the time, temptation to do absolutely fuck all is just too real. I would say I currently dedicate about 40% of my free time to writing. Not too terrible, seeing as I would say it was about 20-30% not long ago. However this still does not work. It definitely needs to be pulled up to a good 80-90% at least. I blame television. This is what I get for starting to watch Love Island. I shudder to think what will happen when I finally start watching Atlanta and The Chi.

I’d like to thank you all, and of course WordPress, for being my therapist for today. I very much appreciate it. With all this craziness going on lately, not to mention living in the era of social media where you see all these Instagram stars living their best life whilst you’re scanning Tesco daily for lunches that average no more of about £2 a day, it can be very easy to get down in the dumps and a little depressed. But I urge you all to find an outlet where you can escape, let all the bullshit out and then carry on.

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So I Finally Started Watching Love Island…

…and I’m officially obsessed!

I’ve been considering giving Love Island a try since I first heard about it, but as I’m sure all my fellow binge-watching folks out there will agree, a decision to take on a new television programme is not something you enter into lightly. It certainly isn’t one that you make without thorough research into said television show first. You see, deciding to watch a new show isn’t quite the same as watching a movie you haven’t seen before. It is all a very complex process, from the initial idea of watching the television show to finally switching on the first episode. This process usually involves reading reviews from various websites, asking the opinion of different friends, family members or colleagues that watch it, as well as some serious private contemplation on your part. I know this may sound insane if you are not really a television person, but after watching Season 1 of Power and being unable to continue, I refuse to just dedicate myself to a new show anyhow. Yes I know, Power’s supposed to be the shit. I do like the premise of it, however, unless Angela dies, I just don’t know if I can bring myself to go back to it. But more on that another day.

After my extensive research, I decided to give Love Island a go now that they have put it on Netflix. For those of you that don’t know, Love Island is a reality TV show on ITV2 that started in 2015. The easiest way I can think of to describe it is Big Brother meets Ex On The Beach. The show takes place in a beautiful villa in Spain during the summer, and roughly ten or eleven singletons are thrown in there in order to compete against each other to find love. At the end of the competition, the winning couple are awarded a £50, 000 prize. So you essentially get an all expenses paid, six week vacation in a five star villa in beautiful, sunny Spain, where you just get to talk to hot guys, drink and chill by the pool all day. Then if you’re lucky, you could end up leaving with a new boyfriend or girlfriend, and £50, 000. Not a bad deal, right?

An entire season of Love Island is spread out over the course of six weeks, and is shown every day on TV. This would be the Big Brother-esque part of the show. The contestants don’t have any form entertainment apart from each other, so no TVs, phones or radios etc., with the exception of the phones that they are provided with for the duration of the competition. These phones alert them with a text message whenever there is any kind of update in the show, i.e. a new arrival, a couple are instructed to go on a date, etc. This of course would be the Ex on The Beach portion, the contestants phones being a substitute for the famous ‘Tablet of Terror’. The players all have to partake in various different challenges set out for them, another example of a text message that would be sent to their phones.

I think the first moment I knew I might be sold when I began watching the reality show, was when I saw that Jon Clark from The Only Way Is Essex was one of the contestants on the first season. Oh yes, I do realise that Love Island currently in the middle of a new season. However I am one of those people that have to watch anything new right from the beginning. Even if it’s just a reality show, I need to start from Season 1. I mean, who ever heard of starting something in the middle? That shit’s crazy to me. I think the only television shows that are exempt are the ones you’ll just throw on when there’s nothing else on TV, e.g. Come Dine With Me. Don’t get me wrong, I love me some Come Dine With Me but you’d never catch me sitting down to watch it from Season 1. There are way too many episodes for a start.

As I was saying, Jon Clark was on the first season of Love Island, so I knew instantly I would at least be completing Season 1. I love Jon. He’s one of my favourites on good old TOWIE, and to be honest I had no idea that he was on Love Island at all, let alone that this was actually his rise to fame and the reason he joined the cast of TOWIE in the first place. Jon may get irate very quickly and easily, but inside he’s really a sweet guy made of honey. Because of this flaw, some people think he’s a bit of a dickhead. However I can relate to not being able to control your temper sometimes, although I do consider myself a lot more mature now.

Despite the fact that I loved watching Jon in it, not to mention his girlfriend-at-the-time Hannah who he had partnered up with, I wasn’t quite sure how to feel about the show yet. I mean I was only a couple of episodes in. Watching a new show is a bit like entering into a new relationship, you play it cool at first and act really laid back. When you’re a good few months in, then you can show your true wacky, crazy self. So I wasn’t about to be raving about how good Love Island was when I was only a few episodes in. With that being said, I am now two seasons in and am officially happy to confirm that I do indeed Love Island! There’s never really a period where it gets dull; they always seem to know when to mix it up and I like that. It’ll be smooth sailing for a bit and everyone’s all happy, then BOOM: a new arrival. It’ll be slightly too chilled for just a few moments, then BOOM: someone gets dumped from the villa. Sun, sex and six packs, the drama never ends. What is not to love!?

Anyway, I’m not going to go into detail about the contestants and what happened, because let’s face it: if you watch it, you already know and if you don’t watch it, you probably don’t care. However I will explain why I like it specifically for those of you that think reality TV is the trashiest, most “rachet”-est thing since…well, since the slang term “ratchet” was invented. I completely respect that opinion; I’m not going to lie, reality TV is trash. But occasionally, trash can be just so entertaining to watch. I do have limits though; I draw the line at shit like Teen Mom, Toddlers and Tiaras and Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. However I do consider Love Island to be slightly different. I find the concept intriguing, I mean think about it. When you meet someone in real life this is usually how it goes: you exchange numbers, talk for a bit, meet up for a date or sex, depending on the vibe and the person, you keep seeing each other for a few months, perhaps an average of three or four dates a month. Then it progresses, and you’re seeing each other more often, perhaps meeting friends or family members, and somewhere along the line, you eventually make it official. However in Love Island, you meet someone and then you essentially spend every waking moment together. I mean, every moment.

To be honest, the fights between the couples don’t surprise me in the slightest. Judging from what I know about guys, if I had to be in the company of one every moment of every day, I’d definitely have more than a few choice words for you after a while. One of the rules of the competition is that when you’re coupled up with someone, you have to share the same bed, even if it is more on a friend vibe (because unfortunately not everyone meets someone). This means that they wake up together, get dressed together, eat together, they chill together, because of course they need to get to know each other and there’s nothing else to do anyway, they brush their teeth together, and then of course they go to sleep together. I know that if you are genuinely enjoying someone’s company that this can be a good experience, however, best believe there will be moments that I will want to kick him in the face. I’m just saying. It’s only natural; anytime humans are around each other constantly, arguments are almost inevitable. When I used to live with my best friend, we would occasionally have little arguments about tiny little things. However, both before and after we lived together, we never had any arguments. It is wondrous how much of a difference just a little bit of space can make.

Although initially the biggest motivation for competing would naturally be the 50 Gs, it seems that there were quite a few pairs that did genuinely find love. So I guess the aim of the show does work for anyone who is genuinely looking. From what I’ve found out, a few couples have ended up getting engaged and even having children. A couple of them broke up with the people they were coupled with on the show, but ended up getting with one of the other contestants. So it’s nice to know that some of them did get their happily ever after in one way or another. However it is incredibly sad that the same cannot be said for the beautiful Sophie Gradon, who was one of the most memorable contestants on Season 2 of Love Island. A couple of weeks ago, the tragic news of her untimely death was brought to the attention of the media. The cause of death has not yet been confirmed, however they have said that there was no sign of “foul play”, leaving many people to speculate that it was suicide. I personally feel that describing it as a tragedy is too much of an understatement. I may not have known her, but Sophie seemed an incredibly intelligent, kindhearted and amazingly free-spirited woman. I heard the news of her death before I had started watching the show, but once you make your way through Season 2 and watch her more and more, it just continues to weigh on your heart. I know they will probably never read this, but my still heavy heart goes out to both her family and her friends.

I am yet to start on Season 3, so I definitely haven’t made my way to the season that’s currently showing on TV. However there has been a huge outrage from a lot of viewers at the lack of diversity in Season 4 of Love Island. There is one black woman in the entire cast, who from what I have seen is gorgeous, but apparently she hasn’t found love so far and this gradually seems to be chipping away at her confidence. Not to mention that the remainder of the cast seem to consist of supremely sculpted, chiselled, muscled, ripped men and perfectly preened, plumped, nipped and tucked women, who all look exactly the same. No seriously, look it up and play a fun little game of Spot the Difference. I bet you’ll still be playing by the time this season of Love Island is over. Now I completely agree with all these opinions; my best friend and I were half-joking regarding the plight of Rachel in Season 1. Rachel was the token black girl of the first season, and she, of course, got no love. Which brings me back to the point I was about to make. I completely agree with all that is being said, however the lack of diversity on reality television shows in Britain is nothing new at all. Look at all the shows that are currently on TV: Made in Chelsea, Geordie Shore, Ex on the Beach, Love Island. For those of you that don’t partake, please just look up previous cast members on Google and tell me how many non-white contestants you see. Because from what I’ve seen previously, you are lucky if you ever get two in a season at once. Now I don’t think that the creators and producers are being racist per se. I just think that it doesn’t enter their ignorant minds that the public might want to watch someone on television who isn’t white and perfect looking. Well folks, I have news for you…we do!

So I assure you, I am not making light of an issue which I truly believe is a serious one. But it is difficult for me to share the same level of outrage as some of my fellow viewers because this all occurred to me years ago. This certainly didn’t begin in 2018, and I unfortunately I don’t believe it will end this year either. Not when it comes to British reality television in general anyway. However with Love Island specifically, what with the huge amount of backlash they’ve recently received, not just from the public but from previous contestants as well, I am confident that the cast of Love Island 2019 will look incredibly different. Mark my words: instead of the usual porcelain dolls along with the token black girl and the one mixed race guy, there’ll be five white girls/guys (one of which will be bigger than the average size), two black girls and two black guys (one of which will be bigger than the average size, take your pick), and perhaps one Asian guy just to go crazy.

You know what, if I generally thought I could handle the aftermath of it, I might even consider applying for next year myself. I do believe it might be the perfect time for a black girl! However, whilst I may feel that I’ll be okay in theory, I know that it will most likely be a different story when it comes to actually doing it. So being a future Love Island contestant may not be in the cards for me, which is probably for the best. However I very much hope that they do improve when it comes to their lack of diversity, as well as any other television programme being shown to millions of influential viewers. But nevertheless, Love Island definitely have me sold as a spectator in this juicy saga for the time being. Keep that shit coming ITV2!

Have You Ever Seen The Crowd Going Apeshit?

So in answer to the question above…err YES! All you had to do was be in The London Stadium on Saturday 16th June – at the very front row of the standing section, right up near the stage, between the hours of 8pm and 10.30pm. Going apeshit was certainly exactly what my best friend Keely and I were doing in those exact moments.

So I’m sure most of you who don’t live under a rock know that Jay-Z and the incredibly phenomenal Beyoncé have kicked off their second joint tour this year: On The Run II. I was one of the fortunate ones that was able to purchase a ticket to the second night of the tour in London last weekend. This was the night that Bey and Hove decided to drop the brand new album that they had been keeping under wraps. It’s called Everything Is Love and it is easily the best work of art that has been released since Lemonade. Seriously. I do realise that as a sworn member of the Beyhive I may be somewhat biased. However when you think of the release of Cardi B’s amazing album in April, along with the announcement of both Drake and Nicki Minaj’s upcoming albums, not to mention Pusha T’s, Kanye’s and J. Cole’s latest albums (which I still haven’t listened to completely yet, believe it or not), I was already under the impression that the bar had probably already been set pretty high when it comes to new music this year. Well Bey and Jay proved me wrong, because now that I’ve heard Everything Is Love, the bar is now so far up in the sky, the moon and the stars are looking up above and asking if it’s a fucking bird or a plane. Well moon and stars, no it isn’t. It’s the amazing Queen Bey and Jay-Z.

Anyway, I’ll go into more detail on the album shortly. Firstly, I want to illustrate just how amazing they were during the show on Saturday night. But merely calling it a show doesn’t seem to give it the justification it so deserves. It was more of an event, a work of art, a masterpiece of which spectators such as myself should feel almost as privileged as our brand new Duchess Megan Markle, at the fact that we can actually feast our eyes on such a thing. Actually, dare I say it, I think I probably feel even more privileged than Megan. She may have just landed a prince, but she didn’t get to see Beyonce perform mere feet away from her. Although she I’m sure she will get the opportunity at some point. She’ll probably even get to shake her hand and talk to her and everything, so I guess until then we’re about even.

As I watched the ebony goddess perform on Saturday evening, I found myself thinking about how she is consistently amazing. There are so many artists out there who are incredibly talented. But the reason I consider Beyoncé a force to be reckoned with is the way she outdoes her own self every time. Every single time we see her perform, whether it be live or from the comfort of our own homes, she unceasingly goes up a level if not two. And she appears to do it with such ease. Every move was executed with such precision and perfection, you’d think she came twerking out of the womb. Beyoncé always knows exactly what we want to see. Whilst she still holds onto elements of her style that we all love, she clearly simultaneously takes a close look at a lot of the new shit that comes out and incorporates certain aspects of it into her work. However she always manages to stay true to the Yoncé that we all love. To be honest, I have so many positive things to say about her and her performance, that I am finding it much harder to write this than I thought I would. I mean, how do you put so much passion, excitement and motivation into mere words? I guess it’s supposed to be my job to know that really.

I was actually surprised by how much I enjoyed Jay-Z’s performance as well. Not that I thought he wouldn’t be good. I mean, Jigga does his thing, I think we all know that. But I wasn’t really so focused on him up until the evening of. I was purely focused on seeing The Queen so close in the flesh and watching her slay, as any member of The Beyhive should be. And slay she did indeed. But anyway, yes Jay-Z went in also. Not only did he entertain us with his fairly new bangers such as The Story of OJ, as well as his mainstream bangers such as Niggas in Paris, but can you believe he also hit us with his old school tunes like 99 Problems and Dirt Off Your Shoulder. I forgot how much I loved Jay-Z’s music. I mean, I was never a huge fan like I am of Beyoncé. But I definitely agreed with the popular opinion that he is the best rapper out there. Yeah that’s right, I said it. Nas is the shit, but I don’t think he can construct a track quite like Hove. I think to be called the best rapper alive, at least one currently making music, you need to be constantly taking your music and yourself to another level, like Jay-Z does. And of course Beyonce. I just couldn’t exclude her from that, I’m sorry. Although I haven’t listened to Nas’s new album yet, so I can file that opinion in the TBC part of my mind until then.

If all this splendour wasn’t enough, the power couple decided to reveal their brand new video Apeshit, which was absolutely phenomenal. I’m purposefully not even going to describe it just to make those of you that haven’t watch it. But let’s just say that although you would not be able to go there and revisit it, Bey and Jay certainly made sure there would be an additional piece of art that can be associated with The Louvre Museum. The only thing negative thing on my mind during those few minutes of pure excitement and joy, is that my battery had died from the million and one videos I had taken throughout the evening. This meant that I was unfortunately not able to record it and post it for all my Snapchat, Instagram and Twitter to followers to start dying with jealousy that I was amongst the first to lay eyes on the masterpiece. It was all I could do not to suddenly remember there were actually other people around me, and make friends with the girl next to me who had got the whole thing on her phone to get her to send it to me. Not that I wouldn’t have if I thought there had been time in the final four minutes.

Everything Is Love: ahh what could I possibly say that would accurately describe the impeccability of this album. If you know me, you’ll know that I am a chatterbox. But I am genuinely struggling to find the words that will illustrate the power of the message in this album, and just how clearly each of their voices resonated through every word that was sung/rapped. I’m sure it’s no secret to most that Jay-Z cheated on Beyonce a while ago. The details of his betrayal are of course kept under wraps, as the dynamic duo have always been incredibly skilled at making sure the public only knows what they want them to. So Becky With The Good Hair is still out there somewhere, hiding from The Beyhive at all costs. Not that we know who she is, or she’d be six feet under by now. Or at the very least the branded name would be useless. She’d be Becky With The Nappy Hair, because no hair salon in town would ever touch her scalp again. No to mention that any bitch who would willingly fuck Beyoncé’s man would definitely take yours in a heartbeat. But I digress.

I would say Everything Is Love should be considered the final part of a trilogy. Lemonade is the album revealing the adultery, the 4:44 album is Jay-Z asking for Beyoncé’s forgiveness and Everything Is Love is the outcome of the aftermath. Both artists are speaking to the fans desperate to know the truth, but through their music. I remember listening to an audio of Beyonce telling us about when she first met Jay, and she explains that music was and always will be a strong connection between the two of them. So they used their mutual love of music, as well as the love for their beautiful children, as therapy in order for them to heal. The album truly is amazing. Every segment is extremely well considered, from the content of each of the nine songs, to the way entire thing is scripted in capital letters. They touch on so many things in each track: the importance of their role as two black billionaires (combined), Jay’s estrangement from Kanye West and Beyoncé makes it clear that music isn’t a numbers game to her by stating “If I gave two fucks about streaming numbers, would have put Lemonade up on Spotify.” Too true Bey, too true. They even take some well deserved shots at Donald Trump. Yes Mr. Trump, in the world of Black Excellence you will always be an irrelevant enemy. You’d best keep yourself hidden in the back streets with Kanye and the other white bigamists. I’ve listened to the album all the way through about four times now (and yes I am also listening to it right now), and I feel as if you get to know the dynamic duo so much better every single time you hear it. Beyoncé even mentions that she learnt a lot about her new elements of rap from her husband. Who apparently never writes, which is just crazy. It is clear how passionate they both are about their children, and how love and music has helped them both rise from the “ashy-ness” of the pain and betrayal like the beautiful phoenixes they are.

I know to someone who isn’t such a big fan of either of them, but since Saturday night I’ve been feeling…different. Then I after I listened to Everything Is Love for the second time, and I mean really listened to it, something struck me. As I was watching Beyoncé perform, it occurred to me that this woman doesn’t just slay because she’s amazing. I mean, she is. But she also slays because she works. HARD. Beyoncé has done nothing but rise further and further to the top since her early Destiny Child days, but she just goes harder. Every year she becomes increasingly more successful, but this does not ever slow her grind. If anything, the results just make her hungrier and reach to new heights the on the next occasion. However it didn’t really occur to me that Jay-Z had the very same work ethic until I really sat down and listened to every lyric of the album properly. I mean, he’s always been Hove but this has never stopped him. He’s gone from drug dealer, to rapper, to best rapper in the game, and finally to the balla and businessman he is now. But yet, he STILL continues to work like he’s still a broke nigga from Brooklyn. How crazy is that work ethic? It’s so crazy that it seems nothing short of unbelievably insane that I haven’t even cracked the surface. But yet I’ve literally been sitting on my ass in comparison. What’s that about? Well no more of it. Ever since last weekend, I really have felt a fire in me that I’ve never really felt before, and I really, really do not want to put it out. Because what music is to Beyoncé and Jay-Z, is what writing is to me. Writing is my therapy, except I am nowhere near finished with my session. Hell I haven’t even started; I’ve barely sat on the sofa and opened my mouth. You do get the analogy I’m going with here, right? If not, my apologies.

So this is exactly why I’m sitting here writing this. Still in the office just over two hours after my shift ended. It certainly isn’t because I love it here. It’s because I love this: writing is my escape, my release, my passion, my everything. It is me. But while I think I have a natural way with words, I am aware that I’ve still got a long way to go. I am literally days away from my twenty-fifth birthday, and while I know it’s not quite time to wear the “old maid” outfit just yet, it certainly isn’t the time to keep delaying the start of the journey. I definitely don’t consider myself the Beyoncé of the writing world, but I truly believe I could get there if I apply myself, show true dedication and work hard. Mark my words, one of these days I will have my own Everything Is Love, which I hope will inspire another budding talent such as myself. However, until then, I will continue to hone my craft and grind until I too can say that I slay.

Chicago: The Musical, The Review

So Bank Holiday Monday on 28th May was very enjoyable. My friend Keely and I went to see Chicago: The Musical playing in The Phoenix Theatre, London. I won the tickets in our New Year’s staff party (I had never won anything in my life up until that day, so this was a very proud moment for me!) and when I was given the tickets, I was told that I could book anything except Hamilton and Harry Potter & The Cursed Child. I know, boo right? It’s not like Harry Potter was my first choice or anything. But you know, free shit is free shit so I was not about to complain.

After doing my research, I was on the verge of selecting Dreamgirls as the lucky winner, when I discovered that Chicago would be coming to London in March, and that Cuba Gooding Jr. would be paying Billy Flynn. Well, suddenly it was a no-brainer! I had to see Cuba Gooding Jr. perform live. I was completely unaware of what his skills as a singer were, but this was not about to be the sole reason not to attend.  I mean, Richard Gere isn’t exactly John Legend himself but, as we all know, he killed it in the movie.

On the day, I wasn’t really sure of what to expect. I had been so focused on my excitement at seeing Cuba Gooding Jr. perform live, that I had forgotten how much I loved the way the characters were played by the actors in the original movie. To be honest, I completely underestimated how brilliant Catherine Zeta-Jones was as Velma Kelly. From the very beginning of the show, whilst she was performing All That Jazz, I had a feeling that Josefina Gabrielle would not do the role justice quite like the lovely Mrs. Zeta-Jones. I know that the entire cast in the movie did set the bar very high, but I just didn’t get the essence of the “Miss Velma Kelly” that you’re supposed to feel from the moment she walks into the room. I won’t go as far as to say that Josefina did a bad job, but I just didn’t love it.

Now Sarah Soetaert, who played the main character Roxie Hart, did fantastically in my opinion. When performing in something well-known, actors tend to study the original too much and just mimic exactly what we’ve seen before, rather than make it their own. Ms. Soetaert did not do any such thing. She still brought the playfulness and ditziness to the character, but she also compiled this with the perfect touch of comedy as well. I don’t actually remember the character being quite that funny when it was played by Renee Zellwegger, as brilliant as this was. So I was very impressed with what Sarah Soetaert brought to the role.

Another who impressed me was Paul Rider, who played Amos in the musical, Roxie Hart’s husband. Now for anyone who has seen the movie, or has been lucky enough to see Chicago on Broadway, I’m sure you remember that Amos is essentially Mr. Invisible. He’s described as not very attractive, a little simple and according to Roxie, not very good in bed. I think even referring to him as “a little simple” is me being kind-hearted personally. Because if we’re going to be honest, any man who would spend his life savings on his woman who is in jail for killing the man she cheated on you with, is nothing short of a mug in my opinion. I get it, love is blind or whatever. But he is still a mug. However I could not fault the actor’s performance.

Ruthie Henshall played the fabulous Mama Morton. Once again, I didn’t quite consider just how much of a mark Queen Latifah left with her portrayal of the matron. Ruthie Henshall certainly had some big shoes to fill. I wasn’t a huge fan of her characterization at first, however she did grow on me. I liked the fact that she seemed to have all the edge of Big Mama, but was still able to bring her own style of acting to the character. She didn’t quite resonate the confidence and power that I would expect from anyone who took on the role, but when she walked onto the stage, you knew it was Big Mama. She wasn’t actually big in size at all. But unexpectedly, this didn’t really matter to me. The only negative point I had was that she and Velma Kelly didn’t seem to have the relationship that they should have had before Roxie arrived. When it came to the climactic part of the performance, where Roxie has essentially replaced Velma as the big dog, I didn’t feel as much of an effect because I didn’t feel as if her and Mama had much of a bond in the first place. But overall, I did like Ruthie Henshall’s portrayal.

And finally, the wonderful Mr. Cuba Gooding Jr. Yes, I did indeed save the best for last! As excited as I was to see him perform live in the weeks leading up to the show, all I could think of once we were sat in our seats on the night was “please don’t mess it up Cuba, please. I love you so much, please don’t make me hate you!” And he did not disappoint. For an actor who is used to performing in front of the camera as opposed to on stage, I thought Cuba Gooding Jr. did an amazing job. I truly believe that Richard Gere would have been proud. Or slightly jealous perhaps. But either way, I loved it. Not only was he every bit as witty, funny, cheeky and daring as Billy Flynn should have been, but he was practically dripping with the suave and sophistication that we are used to seeing from Mr Gooding Jr. Only it was even better, because there wasn’t a sheet of glass separating me from him! Well, there will still several people, chairs and the stage, but that’s beside the point. I am genuinely struggling to find a negative element of his performance throughout the entire show.

So overall, it may not have been Harry Potter & The Cursed Child but it was amazing and my friend and I both thoroughly enjoyed it. I vote for a brand new film adaptation of Chicago with Cuba Gooding Jr. as Billy Flynn. Encore! Encore!

Introduce Hannah OJ

The beginning of any piece of writing is always the hardest part to write. I wish you could just delve into any story without the pressure of having to come up with an exciting introduction, one that will capture your audience exactly the way I picture it in mind. My first draft of this was probably the biggest pile of shit I have ever written in my life. Like, literally a pile of garbage. Hot Chinatown garbage. (By the way, I’m not saying that Chinatown smells like garbage. Anyone that watches The Amy Schumer Show will know what I mean. If you don’t, look it up on YouTube.)

Anyway, I decided to scrap everything I had written, start over without making any huge attempt to be impressive or captivating, and just be myself. Which is essentially one of the reasons why I wanted to start a blog in the first place. The main reason is because I want to be a writer, of course. But lately I have been finding myself struggling with confidence a little. I’m not quite sure what brought it on, because overall I used to have a lot of confidence in myself. But recently, I have discovered that I have been paying way too much attention to what people think when it comes to certain things. Writing isn’t really one of them, but it dawned on me that if everything was to go my way and I do make a success from writing, then I have to be a lot tougher and can’t pay so much attention to what people think of me. When I decided to start this blog, I made a promise to myself that I would not sugar coat anything and I would just be 100% me, regardless of what anybody may think about what I have to say. We live in a tough world where everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and most people you come across will not hesitate to give it to you. So imagine not just allowing yourself to be completely vulnerable and honest, but doing it on the internet for anybody and everybody to see. So here I am, exposing myself to you all. But relax,we are only talking metaphorically here. You’re not going to see a nude selfie of me when you scroll down, sorry to disappoint you.

Anyway, I had been contemplating what subject to choose for this blog for quite some time. I mean, there are quite a few things I’m passionate about. Beauty products, clothes, hair, spa treatments…the list goes on. But a) there are so many blogs about these same subjects, that it would be very unlikely that I would stand out as I would be writing about something that hundreds of women are already writing about and b)I don’t think I’m quite passionate enough about those things to be able to write about them 24/7. I mean, aside from products. My room is literally littered with assorted beauty products from The Body Shop, Avon, Elemis, Cowshed etc.

When it comes to clothes, hair and makeup, I mean I love them as much as the next girl, but most girls that write blogs about those things would usually be the same girls that have dozens of tutorials on YouTube and make the effort to look fabulous from head to toe daily. You should catch me on a day that my ass is not required to be anywhere. I mean, you’d be lucky if I put on a bra let alone take the time to film myself doing tutorials or clothing hauls when I have some me time. Don’t get me wrong, all you women that do: THANK YOU. We are now living in a time where nearly anything you might want to try has a video on YouTube instructing you on how to do so if you are unsure. For women like me that have forever been struggling with makeup techniques as introductory as the “smoky eye”, you are a godsend. But I just know I can’t be bothered to actually get into it enough to write about it, or offer advice to other women. I mean, if I’m only just getting into it properly for the sake of my blog, then who am I to advise others like I’m some expert? Does that make sense? So when it came to deciding on what to write about, it took me forever. What could I possibly write about that would relate to others, and that is at least slightly different from what we are already seeing out there? And then it came to me:

Since I was about twelve or thirteen years old, I have been the biggest procrastinator. I am Queen “I’ll Do It Tomorrow”, and then tomorrow will never arrive. I am now 24 years old, and for the last year or so, I have been telling myself I will do countless things. So far, I have a very extensive list:

  • Start eating healthy: not dieting, just cutting out the really shitty stuff. Switching to brown bread and brown pasta (not brown rice though, I just can’t bring myself to do that), stop eating so many carbs, stop eating late, stop eating entire tubs of Haagen Dazs or Ben & Jerry’s (yep, I have done this. More than once, and I am not ashamed to say so). So nothing drastic really, just stick to a healthy regime so I can stop complaining about my stomach endlessly.
  • Go to the gym three times a week — and actually stick to this. It seems that every time I do manage three sessions in one week, my subconscious self just has to throw it out the window the next week.
  • Go out more and meet new people: I feel like I have been stuck in a rut lately. I always want to do things, but I will suggest plans to my friends all the time and we never end up doing anything. I mean, I love them but if it comes to a point where you can’t do the things you want simply because of other people, I think it’s time to expand your social circle.
  • Appreciate me time: although I do want to meet new people and go out with friends more, I do also think it’s important to be able to enjoy time on your own. I used to love going to the theatre. I live in London, and nowadays you can find tickets for the best musicals and plays for very reasonable prices if you look in the right place. This is something I would be happy to do by myself, so I’ve always thought about making the effort to do things just for me, such as this. Even going to the cinema, or to a coffee shop alone doesn’t bother me, so this is something I should probably try and do more.
  • Learn how to cook proper meals. I want to get to the point where I can literally whip up anything I want. So if I want Chinese food, I’ll be able to make it myself. If I feel like lobster, I’ll be able to put it together. Partly because I enjoy cooking (well what I can cook so far anyway) and partly for the independence. Plus I order Chinese food a lot, so if I can make my favourite dishes, it’ll end up saving me money as well.
  • Do different things: this one sounds a bit vague, but what I mean by that is be more inclined to do things I would never usually do. I am the type of person that gets really stuck in my comfort zone, even when it comes to watching movies and TV programmes, I tend to be more comfortable with watching the same things over and over again than trying something new. I’ve watched every single episode of Friends, The Big Bang Theory and other television shows countless times, and have never been bored. I usually watch the same type of movies over and over too, but when it comes to other genres that I don’t usually watch, the list is incredibly short. For example, out of all the Fast & Furious movies, I have only ever seen Fast & Furious: Tokyo Drift. Which is probably the worst one to select, as the story is shit and Vin Diesel only features right at the end. When it comes to all the superhero-type films, the same goes. The thing is, when I do observe people watching them, they don’t exactly look bad. But they just look very long, and I don’t know how I feel about spending so much time watching something if there’s a chance I won’t like it. I’ve seen Spider-Man and Spider-Man 2, which I did like. I’ve seen the Dark Knight as well, which I loved. So you would think it would spark up some kind of desire to try others. But, for whatever reason, it never did. There are so many films we could do this with: I’ve never seen any Matrix movies, or Terminator films. Although, whenever anyone talks to me about these they just sound stupid, so I’m not sure if I feel like I’m missing out in this area to be completely honest.

The list could go on and on and on, but if I were to list every single thing that I think about doing but don’t do, we would be here all day. Plus that’s the whole point of this blog. Think of it as A Procrastinator’s Guide to Life: something that I hope will entertain and please people, sharpen my writing skills, but also something to hopefully motivate me and others to live life to the fullest, and be one of those people that does things rather than just sits around talking about what I would like to do. At least if I do get to the point where I’m running out of material on my third post, then I know that I’m not doing what I’m supposed to. Although if you knew me well, you would know how unlikely it is that I would ever run out of words to say, regardless of the situation. Anyway, introducing…me.