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Cardi B Wins A Grammy…meanwhile BET are being dragged by their lace fronts

Ahh I’m so witty 😂

I’m sure most of you are aware by now of how big of a Cardi fan I am. So of course I’m so happy that she was awarded with a Grammy. It was well deserved; her album was my second favourite of the year last year. (I have to give the #1 position to Everything Is Love by The Carters, of course). She worked so hard on it, while she was pregnant, and the final result really showed. This definitely made up for not winning a Grammy the year before for Bodak Yellow, which also would have been well deserved.

What I find very irksome is the fact that when females are celebrated for their accolades, certain others always take a win for one female as a loss for another. Isn’t it enough that women already have to work twice as a man has to be the recognised and given equal respect, particularly black women? Why can’t a woman celebrate an achievement without anyone trying to tear down another female in the process? Cardi is the first solo female rapper to be awarded awarded with a Grammy, and don’t forget that she was the only female in her category as well. Now shouldn’t this be a win for Nicki Minaj, Lil Kim, Remy Ma, Missy Elliott and any other female rapper currently doing her thing, that once did her thing or is busy trying to come up? That’s the way I see it, but apparently BET do not agree.

I don’t know if you saw the tweet by BET that was posted swiftly after the Grammy’s had finished and all the announcements hit social media. But BET posted a tweet rejoicing in Cardi B’s victory, but clearly couldn’t resist posting it with the sub-heading “Meanwhile Nicki Minaj is being dragged by her lace front”, hence my witty title for this post. Wow…the shade though.

If you read my previous post Cardi vs. Nicki Minaj, I think I make it pretty clear where I stood during their whole beef. I was riding with Cardi all day, as I considered Nicki Minaj’s behaviour whack and petty as fuck. However this did not take away my love for Nicki’s music; I still listen to her music just as much as Cardi’s. It certainly wouldn’t have stopped me being happy for Nicki if she had won a Grammy (although if it was for Best Rap Album, I would have still thought it should have gone to Cardi as I do think her album was better than Nicki’s. That’s just my personal opinion).

Nicki’s reaction was to pull out of the performance she had planned on doing for BET during the summer, along with Lil Wayne and the rest of the Young Money crew, who we all know ride for their team until the wheels fall off. Regardless of how I felt about Nicki during her and Cardi B’s beef, I completely understand why she had the reaction she had and do not blame her at all. In fact, for Nicki I thought it was a very mature and classy way to handle it. No cussing, no dragging them on social media. She just simply said “Oh that’s the wave you’re on BET? Okay cool, you can dead that performance then.” BET were really selling themselves short by posting that, particularly for a platform who’s sole purpose is to remain neutral and celebrate all black entertainers equally.

However shortly after the backlash, BET did release a statement apologising to Nicki Minaj and her fans, insisting that this tweet should never have been posted and that it does not reflect what their about or how they feel about Nicki. They also assured the public that they were “taking additional appropriate action” and that they were “conducting an internal audit to assure these types of posts are not published again”. We all know what that means: somebody got fired. I knew that from reading between the lines, even before Nicki Minaj apparently tweeted a photo of the girl who posted it after BET fired her. Now this on the other hand is a classic Nicki Minaj move that I do not agree with. I understand that a lot of people want others to realise that they can’t just hide behind a keyboard, and it is important to suffer the consequences of your stupid actions. However we all know the Barbs are crazy. Unleashing them on that girl, inadvertently or not, is not going to solve anything. It’ll most likely just potentially lead to more problems. While I understand that Nicki cannot control the actions of others, if you are aware of the heat that can be brought and you continue to fuel the fire, then I feel that she should take some responsibility if something were to happen to that girl now. She cannot say that she isn’t aware of what her fans are capable of after Cardi B showed us all the messages she got from crazy Barbs when her number got leaked. Keyboard warrior or not, anyone who threatens the life of an innocent infant has a screw loose.

These said Barbs managed to find out this girl’s social media handles, email and home address just from Nicki Minaj releasing her photo and Twitter handle. Yes, her home address. And all this is for what Nicki? Even if they are fans of yours, I’m sure you don’t want them doing a Liam Neeson and finding this bitch. Yes, she did an incredibly stupid thing but she doesn’t deserve the nightmare that will undoubtedly come her way as a result of Nicki’s anger. It’s almost as if she doesn’t realise that these actions are what make people want to tweet something like that about her in the first place. However I guess the girl was aware of Nicki’s antics before she tweeted that, so I suppose she should have thought about that before. It’s a difficult one, but while I definitely think Nicki should have acted more responsibly, I can’t put all the blame in her lap as BET did start this war in the first place. Maybe one day a female can simply just be celebrated for her accomplishments without all this nonsense as part of the package.

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Liam Neeson: Racist or Nah?

I’m sure that almost everyone with a hue as dark as mine has been made aware of this tea, but just in case, I will fill you all in.

Liam Neeson did an interview for The Independent a few days ago to promote his upcoming movie, Cold Pursuit. The story is about a man who’s son dies of a heroin overdose. The man then becomes a vigilante when he finds out that his son was in fact  murdered by a drug cartel, and he searches the town to find this man…and kill him. I’m sorry, I just couldn’t resist.

During the interview, the journalist asks Liam Neeson if he has ever been in a similar situation in real life, where he was so intent on finding someone to avenge them for something they had done. For some reason, Liam responds by telling a story of how a close friend of his told him that she had been raped by a man. He asked his friend if she knew the man and she said she didn’t. Liam then asked her what colour he was, and she said that he was a black man. He didn’t mention for any other physical description except for his skin colour. Apparently that was all he needed, because shortly after hearing the account from his friend, he then proceeded to wander the streets with a weapon for about a week, looking for any black man and just hoping that they would start an argument with him so that he could kill them. Well actually, if you listen to the audio, his exact words were that he wanted to kill the first “black bastard” that started on him. He said the words “black bastard” with so much passion that I’m honestly wondering if Liam Neeson still feels this way.

Now, as I’m sure you’ve guessed, I have so much to say on this topic but I’m just going to provide a few choice words. Firstly, why did Liam even need to tell this story? He literally just dug himself his own grave for no apparent reason. He could have lived his full life as he has been without ever telling anybody that story. He insists that he wanted to put it on the table because it needs to be discussed, but why would you ever think that this would do you any good or paint you in a positive light? The fact that he was so willing to speak to a journalist shows that he doesn’t think it was that big of a deal.

Secondly, and this is my main point here, WTF!? Now let’s just point out the obvious from the start: of course it is terrible that his friend got raped, regardless of the skin colour of the rapist, it is a horrible and traumatic situation which I would never wish on my worst enemy. However, your solution is to wander around with a weapon, looking for any random black person who crosses you so you can take it out on them? I don’t care what all these people who are trying to be on his side are coming out with, this is racial profiling at its very best, or worst even. I hate to break it to you Liam, but all black people don’t look the same. I know a lot of white people think that. Believe me, I’ve been called the wrong name at work before, because apparently there is no need to be aware of the distinction between the three black girls in the entire office. However, breaking news, we are all separate individuals. So Liam, when some black people do despicable things, such as what happened to your friend, this does not mean that all black people are alike. The fact that some black men have raped women does not mean that all black men are rapists. So what would this cold pursuit of yours have changed? How is taking your anger out on the first black man you discover, and inflicting pain on their family, going to help your friend in any way?

Liam Neeson rapidly went on Good Morning America shortly after the audio from his interview went viral, no doubt ordered to do damage control by his team. The interviewer asked him if he would have had the same reaction if his friend had told him it was a white man who raped her. Such a brilliant question, as I was thinking the very same thing when I heard the story. Liam replied that he absolutely would have had the same reaction. He went on to say that “if he was Irish, a Scot or Brit or a Lithuanian, he knows he would have had the same reaction.” Ahhh but Liam, no no no. You didn’t ask your friend what country he was from. You asked what colour he was. Apparently the country he was from didn’t matter when he was a black individual. Oh another fun fact about black people, we’re not all from the same country.
The interviewer also asked Liam how he got over this deep level of rage, and he replied that, aside from speaking to a priest, he would also power walk for two hours a day. Wow, really? So you just walked the racism off, that’s what you’re trying to tell me? Okay cool, you walk it out then Liam.

If I’m going to be objective, I understand that certain traumatic experiences can trigger something in people. And unfortunately, if that trigger sets off any violent urges, the victim can then take his anger out on “surrogates” who strongly resemble the person who is the source of the victim’s trauma. I watch Criminal Minds, so I get it. However, Liam Neeson was not the one who went through this traumatic experience. He is not the victim. Of course I’m not saying it would have been okay if the victim herself went around killing random black man. But at least that would have made more sense. I may have been able to buy that rather than you having prejudice towards our race, this was merely just an unfortunate result of a traumatic experience. However if my friend tells me she was sexually assaulted by a Chinese man tomorrow, as angry and devastated as I would be for her, I would not set out to attack the next Chinese man I encounter who pisses me off. That is simply ridiculous, and I believe that Liam Neeson was clearly using this experience at his own convenience, to do what I feel he has probably wanted to do to black men a long time before his friend told him that story.

What really baffles me is the celebrities that have defended him in his statements. Terry Crews said that he didn’t think he was a racist, and that Liam was simply at “a fork in the road” and went down the wrong path for a moment. Whoopi Goldberg insisted that he wasn’t a bigot, oh and the most idiotic and ridiculous defence, Fast & Furious actress Michelle Rodriguez. She recently came out and said that Liam Neeson was definitely not a racist, and could not be a racist because of the way he was kissing his co-star Viola Davis in the movie Widows. You know when you didn’t really know much about a person, but then they come out with just one thing which confirms that they’re actually an idiot. Yep, that’s Michelle Rodriguez. Firstly Michelle…isn’t he an actor? So if he is a racist, acting like he likes black women should be something he should be able to do right? I’ve seen all the Takens and his skills are up there, so I’m sure he could act like he likes black pum pum where necessary. Secondly, as Charlamagne pointed out on The Breakfast Club just yesterday, during slavery weren’t a lot of the female slaves raped by the slave-masters on the plantation? Didn’t quite a few of the masters pursue affairs with the slaves and end up impregnating them? Does that mean the slave-masters aren’t racist because they clearly desire black women? Michelle, please be quiet and stick to driving cars on-screen recklessly as opposed to talking recklessly. It’s not a good look babe.

I would love to end this by saying that Liam has joined the “cancelled list” for me personally, however I don’t really watch his films these days anyway. Most of his movies are incredibly similar to the role he played in the Taken films, so it just feels like more of the same all the time. Once you’ve seen Taken, you’ve seen them all basically. I didn’t even know he had a new upcoming movie until this story came out. I do feel bad for the other actors in the film who are suffering as a backlash to all this, as they did cancel the premiere, which was supposed to be just a few days after the interview. But hey, I guess he’s left a lot of them with feelings of vengeance now too. Well let’s just see if any of them start to seek out random, old, white douchebags to murder for no reason.

‘Surviving R Kelly’ Aftermath

Well firstly, Happy New Year to you all! It kind of sucks that my first post of the year has to be quite this serious. However I’m pretty sure there are very few people who’s minds were not reeling after watching the Surviving R Kelly docuseries, which aired on Lifetime in the US on Friday 3rd January. They sure as hell  wanted to make sure that everyone started 2019 woke.

I don’t know about any other 90’s babies who watched all six episodes, but afterwards I felt incredibly guilty. Now I’m not going to lie and say that R Kelly was my favourite artist when I was younger, and that I was a super-fan. However R&B was my absolute favourite genre of music back then. It still is today, but they don’t quite make R&B like they used to. It is very difficult to come across an R&B song created in the last few years that isn’t interspersed with pop. Anyway, because I was such a lover of R&B, of course I would have several R. Kelly songs on repeat. After all, he was at one point thought of as the King of R&B, although not by myself personally. It was Usher all day for me, but that’s neither here nor there.

I felt guilty because during the time that R Kelly had been taken to court, he was still dropping some of his biggest hits. I was one of the girls that you saw singing along to Ignition every time it came on, or I Believe I Can Fly or I’m A Flirt. But the year he went on trial, I was 14 years old, ironically around the same age as a lot of his victims. I had heard about the tape, but because he was never found guilty and still continued to be the star he is, I just assumed that it was untrue or just rumours. I never even thought about trying to find the tape to confirm if for myself, and to this day I still don’t want to do this. Of course I know that he was indeed guilty now; I don’t need to view the tape for myself. The fact that his brother, his ex-wife and several people that also knew the victim, including teachers and friends from school and Sparkle, who is her aunt, have confirmed his identity is enough for me. I know how this sounds, but this sex tape is child pornography. While I understand that a lot of people needed to view this in order to have their own piece of mind for confirmation, I just know that I am too sensitive to handle being able to see such a young girl be abused like this.

So anyway, at the time I didn’t think much of these rumours. Remember, these are things I would hear from friends in school. I remember being a young teenage girl, and even at the time I knew that about 50% of what came out of the mouths of most was bullshit. I knew this, because I wasn’t really any different at the time. So it was very easy to hear something like this and not take it seriously. To be honest, it’s only recently with the downfall of Bill Cosby, and the exposure of monsters like Kevin Spacey and Harvey Weinstein, that we as the public are really seeing the hidden horrors that seem to have been rampant in the entertainment industry for some time now. Horrors which a lot of the people we look up to in this industry were aware of, or had heard certain things about, but either turned a blind eye or did not think to ask the right questions. Apparently older men have been using their power to abuse women for years now, so no wonder R. Kelly thought (and still thinks) that he is invincible. We have allowed him to get away with this for so long now, which has instilled this God complex he seems to have. The fact that he is still denying these allegations, despite all the evidence and the countless victims speaking up, he clearly still has the idea that he is untouchable. It was only a couple of months ago that the video went viral where women were wiping the sweat off his face at his concert, and this was after the news came out about him keeping girls as sex slaves for his “sex cult” organisation he has hidden away.

I think that is honestly the worst part of it all. The fact that R Kelly has verbally denied all of these allegations, but all his actions do is show you exactly who he is. It’s almost like he’s trying to dangle it in front of our faces without trying to actually admit to who he really is. Charlamagne from The Breakfast Club even brought up the good point that he referred to himself as The Pied Piper back then. And who is the Pied Piper? The old German tale is that the Pied Piper was a rat catcher the people of Hamelin hired to lure all the rats out of town. Then when the town refused to pay him for his services, he retaliated by using music to lure their children out of town, never to be seen again. Now correct me if I’m wrong, but these seems like a crazy alter ego to choose for yourself despite the fact you have been on trial for child pornography, and have had several accusations of abusing under-age girls. This shows that he really didn’t care. He continued to flaunt his true self in such a way, but still somehow continued to captivate our hearts with hit after hit. The fact that I used to love  this man’s music so much at the very same time that all these families were suffering, makes my skin crawl.

I just want to be clear by saying that my heart goes out to every single one of his victims, as well as all their families. However one thing I don’t understand is why there were so many victims that accused him of the same things, but ended up settling for a sum of money. Now don’t get me wrong, I completely appreciate that I have never been in this position. But I don’t think I would let anyone who did these heinous things to me think they could make it all better with money. Especially a lot of the families who made this decision, as their daughters weren’t even old enough to decide this for themselves. I really don’t think I could take the money as compensation, and then continue to look my daughter in the eye as she gets older, knowing that I compromised her integrity like this. She would have never even had the chance to make the decision for herself. Then when she’s old enough, I have to be the one to tell her that the money was more important to me than making sure the man who did this to her was put away for good. I understand that it can seem like an overwhelming concept when it is as big of a star as R Kelly, especially now that we are aware that his team are almost as bad as he is, with the several threats they have made to anyone who dares to speak out. But by taking money in exchange for silence, whether it was the victim’s decision or their family, we are inadvertently working for him as well by continuing to sweep this under the rug. This allows him to continue to do this to other girls, and gives him the idea that he cannot be touched. As I said, R Kelly and the members of his team who continued to aid him with these disgusting acts are the only ones to blame. However, if Sparkle’s family had been brave enough to confirm that it was her niece on the tape during the trial, R Kelly would probably be in jail as we speak and would have never had the confidence to even pick out another victim at his trial.

I also just want to finish by saying that the people who knew something was up, but chose not to say anything, please don’t think that you are any better. I don’t just mean people like his brother who downplayed R Kelly’s paedophilia by calling liking young girls “a preference”, or his old manager Demetrius who falsified Aaliyah’s identification to say she was 18 so that R Kelly could illegally marry her at 15 years old. I’m also talking about the countless people who saw him go to the same high school to pick up young girls almost every day, and would see several 14/15 year old girls hanging around with him in the studio. I’m sure you sleep at night thinking that there wasn’t much you could have done, but please tell me this. What if one of these young girls were your daughters? Or sisters? Or cousins? Would you still turn a blind eye, and simply just think to yourself, “hmm that’s a bit weird, but ohh well.” One thing I am glad about is that I think that people are finally starting to realise how fucked up this culture really is, and that it is in our best interest to ask all the relevant questions or speak up when something doesn’t seem right. It may save several people years of abuse and trauma. I know that I for one have learnt my lesson to do research on anyone that I choose to speak praise of or be a fan of. I have also deleted every single R Kelly song from my phone. I know some people are having trouble letting go of some really great music, which I do understand. After all we cannot deny the guy was talented, and a lot of his songs have given us all a lot of significant memories at some point in our lives. But if we could be making light of all these strong women who have come out with their stories every time we bounce along to Ignition or grind to Bump & Grind, is it really worth it?

Cardi B & Offset – Is It Really A Wrap?

Well I would be lying if I said I was shocked by it, but I definitely gave them more than a year in my head. I love Cardi, but unfortunately I had reservations about Offset since he got caught cheating on her the first time before they were even married. Or so we thought; it turned out they’d been married in secret since last September. But I digress.

For those who have been under a rock, welcome back to the world of social media. Cardi B made an announcement on her Instagram just last week stating that her and her husband Offset had officially broken up. Not long afterwards followed a picture of their beautiful baby Kulture, which she chose to reveal to the world for the very first time. Cardi insisted that she and Offset had been trying to work things out for a little while now, and that they just fell out of love. However she did also say that they still maintain a great friendship, and that she still has a lot of respect for him as he is her child’s father, and he taught her a lot about the music industry.

However nobody is buying that the reason for their split is that they simply fell out of love. Pretty much everyone tuned into this story is aware that it’s really down to Offset’s continuous infidelity. Some leaked text massages came to light just a few days apart from Cardi’s announcement, which shows Offset trying (incredibly hard by the sounds of it) to organise a threesome with a female rapper and her friend. The rapper is one of the many something-Dolls out here (eg. Kash Doll, Asian Doll), aka not on Cardi’s level. As in, she’d have to jump into several elevators just to get anywhere near her level.

To make matters worse, one of the girls did an interview with TMZ just after Cardi made her announcement, crying and insisting that she “didn’t know how serious Cardi & Offset’s marriage was” and even that she hopes they get back together. Oh bitch please. Don’t get me wrong, I am one of those people who always blame the guy in this situation and not the girl, as he is the one who is supposed remain faithful. If this girl is not a friend, family member or somebody I see on a regular basis, then I don’t expect any loyalty from you anyway, so I wouldn’t hold you accountable. However, please don’t come forward and act like you give a shit about my marriage, because you clearly don’t. You were all ready to take the side chick position without any complaints, so please stay in your lane and keep your crocodile tears and fake well wishes to yourself.

*deep sigh. Anyway, since the announcement, it seems like Cardi is truly done. And who can blame the girl? I know that unfortunately most men are going to slip up occasionally, especially when they live the crazy life of a star like Offset. I mean, if Jay-Z can cheat on BeyoncĂ©, the Queen herself, then it can happen to anyone. But if you’ve cheated on me once (which he did, last year) and I give you a second chance, but then you do it again after barely a year, it’s now starting to look like a pattern. I’m not here for that; at the end of the day, if I know my worth and I know I deserve better, why should I stay with somebody who has proven to me more than once that he can’t be faithful?

Now I’m not saying Cardi shouldn’t take him back. At the end of the day, there’s clearly love there and they have a beautiful baby daughter. So I completely understand that she has her family to think about, as well as herself. Cardi even made a video a couple of days ago asking the internet trolls to lay off Offset (that was weird to say). In this video, she made the very good point that she could find another man who’s rich, successful, good-looking and all the rest of it, but he still won’t love her daughter as much as Offset. Now this is an incredibly point, and very true. But I do think she deserves someone to love her the way she deserves. So if Offset can’t do that, then she should find someone who can. However I also acknowledge that he’s a young man at the peak of his career, and it can be easy to fall prey to temptation in the midst of all the glitz and glamour. So maybe the two of them can work things out in time.

My real issue is all the people (mainly men, of course) on social media that are encouraging Cardi to take Offset back on the basis that “all men cheat”. I’m sorry, but this is some bullshit. I guess I get what some of them are ultimately trying to say, which is that most men cheat, so why get rid of someone that you really love just to replace them with a man who is probably going to do the same thing. I guess I can kind of see their point. However, there is absolutely no sense in me weakening myself just because the majority of males share the same transgressions. The issue is those men and their infidelity, so why should I have to be the one to be accommodating? Not to mention, this is a complete double standard, because anytime a woman cheats on a man she is considered trash, and you wouldn’t have scores of women telling men to just put up with it. Anyway, the aim is certainly not to get with a man who’s going to do the same shit. If it were, I would agree with the fact that breaking up with a cheater would just be redundant. The aim is to find someone much better than my last, one who hopefully won’t do the same things and will treat me in the way I deserve. If it turns out that this isn’t the case, then it’s onto the next one. Simple as that.

Anyway, these are simply my thoughts and opinions. I am still very much a part of the Bardi Gang, so as she keeps bringing that fire and making schmoney moves, I will continue to support her.

Kevin Hart Presents…Thanks to Haters, Not The Oscars

Well it seems that once again it seems that society has proven that there is one rule for black people and another for citizens of the Caucasian persuasion. For those of you who don’t know, Kevin Hart, who if you remember from one of my very first posts, happens to be one of my favourite comedians, was selected to host The Oscars next year. I don’t think I need to explain what an honour this is for anyone lucky enough to be chosen, but this is something that Kevin had particularly been hoping he would get the opportunity to do for some time. He mentioned this when he made the announcement himself, and made it clear just how thrilled he was to be selected. It is apparent that this is just one of those accolades that reminds people that they are really at the peak of their career, which Kevin Hart most definitely is.

Unfortunately his happiness was extremely short-lived, as he made the decision to step down just a few days later in light of some “homophobic” tweets that had recently been discovered. Yes I write homophobic in inverted commas, because I think this whole thing is bullshit.  Let me be clear, I have read the these tweets and I would be lying if I was to sit here and say that there is absolutely nothing wrong with them, and that they are not offensive in any way. However, let’s remember one thing: these tweets are from 2019! I think that we are all aware that our society and social etiquette has vastly grown and improved in the last decade, something I think every minority is grateful for. Do I think one or two of these tweets were insensitive? Yes I do. However there is a huge difference between who someone who literally has a deep dislike or prejudice against homosexuality, which is the exact definition of homophobia, and somebody who makes a joke in poor taste. I can’t think of any comedian I’ve grown up listening to who hasn’t used the F word or made an insensitive joke in their stand up routines back in the day. The same also applies to my favourite rappers who I’ve grown up listening too as well. The culture was just incredibly different back then; there are so many things that would have been socially acceptable to say in 2009, that would never be okay in 2018. Just as I’m sure there will be certain things you could get away with saying now, that will be a no-go by 2027. So why are we taking these moments and using them as a tool to potentially damage someone’s career almost ten years later!? It’s just wrong.

But the thing that really pisses me off about this situation is that within the past few years Kevin Hart has been on top, no one seemed to find him homophobic and offensive. When he was touring and doing sold out shows, and doing movie after movie that was blowing up on the box office, oh white people loved him then. That’s when he was hilarious! But literally as soon as he is selected to host The Oscars, now it’s time to drag up some old tweets from almost ten years ago. Now he’s insensitive and homophobic, and now it is time to hold him accountable for his actions? Okay people. The glitz and glam of The Oscars was a little too big of a step for black-ass Kevin Hart for you to be comfortable with? Is that it?

Furthermore, Nick Cannon (another comedian I’ve grown up loving) took it upon himself to dig up some old tweets from Chelsea Handler, Amy Schumer and Sarah Silverman where they all also use the F word. He poses the great rhetorical question: were these women ever forced to be held accountable for these statements, or ever suffer great backlash from any of their fans or the LGBTQ community? Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against these comediennes either. In fact, I love Amy Schumer. I think she’s hilarious, and I felt just as outraged about what they said as I felt about what Kevin Hart said in his old stand-up routine Seriously Funny, which is something else that was brought up in the midst of these old tweets. Basically, I did not feel outraged at all. Because unlike most people in our society today, I recognise when a joke is a joke, even when others more sensitive than myself may not find it so funny. At the end of the day, a comedian’s job is to make you laugh and sometimes that means toeing the line in areas that would be untouchable to some. Occasionally they may go over the line a little, but at the end of the day there is rarely any real malice or hatred behind it.

My point is simply this: there should not be one rule for some and another rule for others. Right is right, and wrong is wrong. One thing that I certainly consider to be wrong is jumping on the first opportunity to discredit a black man for statements he made so long ago, without even taking the time to appreciate that a person can evolve and grow, as per Kevin Hart’s original statement in response to all this. Not to mention, this still begs the question: why didn’t these aforementioned tweets matter when millions of people were buying tickets to watch Kevin perform live, or to see his many movies in the cinema. Because unfortunately to some people, watching a black man be funny on tour or on the big screen is just comfortable enough. But on stage at The Oscars? Nah, he’s getting a little carried away now, they probably thought to themselves. “Stay in your line nigga” is essentially what they’re trying to say. It deeply saddens me that Kevin felt forced to step down from the opportunity, and I do feel proud of him for apologising to anyone he offended and reiterating that he is continuing to evolve and grow. But I just want to end by saying that anybody who only deemed it necessary to drag Kevin Hart as soon as he stepped up to host The Oscars, but were aware of these tweets a long time ago, they are the ones who are prejudiced, not Kevin.

Cardi B vs. Nicki Minaj

Yes, I realise the controversy you are about to be privy to, even with the title alone. But this post is something I’ve been thinking about doing for a while now, way before the incident at New York Fashion week (in which I was riding for Cardi B all the way, by the way). I’ve had this all on my mind pretty much since Cardi released her album in Invasion of Privacy in April, and then I thought I’d save it until Nicki’s album Queen dropped, which was originally due to be released in June. Of course, in hindsight, it’s a good thing it didn’t come out then. The initial release date was Friday 15th June, however The Carters ended up surprising us all with the release of Everything Is Love on Saturday 16th June, which would have made Queen completely irrelevant had it ended up coming out when it was meant to. I reckon Nicki heard a tip off and then decided to push the date back, thinking “Bey and Jay are not going to be right behind me!” A wise decision. Anyway, there was talk of Queen being pushed back again a second time from Friday 10th August to Friday 17th, however it did end up being released on the 10th. I listened to the full album on the day, as I did with Cardi’s album.

When listening to Invasion of Privacy, my first thoughts when hearing Cardi’s first track, Get Up 10, was “Wow is that Cardi B spitting that fire!?” The thing is, I knew of Cardi’s abilities as a rapper even before Bodak Yellow. I watched Love & Hip Hop New York, and what with her raw humour and unwavering confidence, she was definitely one of my favourite characters. Then I saw her do an interview on The Breakfast Club and she was mainly talking about her experience as a female rapper trying to make it. Although I knew she was rapper from watching Love & Hip Hop, I’m not going to lie, I very rarely took the music from the artists on the shows very seriously. I was a viewer of all Love & Hip Hops strictly for the ratchet entertainment, so most of the time I wouldn’t even do my own research to find out for myself if their music was good. This really is a shame, and of course the rise of Cardi B has shown me that you should never underestimate artists and their craft simply because of the type of the platform they might be on. Although I have done my due diligence on other artists from the show since then, such as Mariahlynn and Dream Doll, and they are certainly no Cardi. I don’t think much of Mariahlynn and Dream Doll is okay at best. However that doesn’t mean that other good artists cannot emerge from the same platform. But, I digress.

So it was only when I was watching Cardi’s interview on The Breakfast Club back in 2016, and I was hearing Charlamagne and DJ Envy say that people do underestimate her, possibly due to her unique way of speaking, but she really is a good rapper. It was only then that I really became interested, and looked up her latest mixtape at the time, Gangsta Bitch Music, Vol. 1. I don’t think I really listened to the whole thing, but there was definitely some tracks that stood out for me, such as On Fleek, Washpoppin and a couple of separate single of hers like Cheap Ass Weave and Stripper Hoe. This was when I first knew that Cardi was about it. Her flow was so fluid and precise and she rides the beat effortlessly. Regarding her content, she is pure Cardi. She does not try and be anything else, and it is so marvellously raw and real.
This is exactly how I felt when listening to Invasion of Privacy, but ten times more. I was sold as soon as I heard Drip, which was only the second track. It’s crazy to think that a few days before the album was released, I was slightly worried that Bodak Yellow and Bartier Cardi were so good that a whole album just would not match up in comparison. However, as soon as I finished listening to the album (which, by the way, was on a late shift at work. I give zero fucks), the first thought that entered my mind was “That was pure fire, and I will never doubt Cardi again”.

When hearing Queen on 10th August, also coincidentally on a late shift at work, I initially thought my opinion on it would be very similar. I liked Ganja Burns, which was the first song on the album. I really liked the second song, Majesty, and I loved the third song, Barbie Dreamz. I was thinking, “Hey, I’m loving this. Off to a good start.” But then after that, I didn’t really feel a dislike for the songs that followed, but I didn’t really love them either. My initial review was that about 70% of the album was okay, but for Nicki Minaj’s standard it was pretty disappointing. I listened to it again for a second time, and I felt a little better about a couple of the songs, however the diagnosis was still disappointing overall. But I think what helped is that I had started listening to Queen Radio, and of course Nicki only really plays her own songs with her self-obsessed self, particularly the ones off her new album. Although I guess the Barbs do demand it via social media, so fair enough. A few of the songs started to grow on me the more I heard them. I guess because Nicki is such a hard lyricist, you have to really listen to some songs a couple of times before you can really appreciate it’s brilliance. So upon reflection now, Nicki has her faults but she sure as hell has not lost her fire in the booth. Yes, that was a pun.

So talent-wise, Nicki definitely dominates Cardi as a lyricist. I don’t think I can really say there is a female rapper that can spit better than her, and not even that many male rappers releasing music right now. However because Nicki has different vibes and moods with her music, not every song really appeals to me. But I like every single track on Invasion of Privacy, and that is very rare for me. There have been so many fantastic albums released this year, but the only three in which I like every single song on it is Invasion of Privacy, Everything Is Love and Carter V. Cardi B is also much more approachable as a personality. Both women have worked incredibly hard, so I am not taking that away from Nicki in any way, however Cardi regularly talks about her struggle from her childhood, to the strip club to where she is now. Her album makes you want to dance, cry, laugh and turn up all the same time, and I don’t think there are many artists that can do that. She leaves all her dedication and hard work in her pen, and I just feel as if Nicki holds back a bit. This is her fourth album, and she still hasn’t really rapped about anything real. This goes for her videos as well. They are just more of the same; her latest one Barbie Dreamz was extremely disappointing. I actually got so bored and kind of stopped paying attention halfway through, which should not be a reaction to a Nicki Minaj music video.

Although I wanted to make this mainly about comparing the two icons and their music, I do have to touch on the fact that Nicki Minaj is unfortunately not someone I feel that I can look up to as a woman. She has come for Cardi B on several occasions, and thinks she can get out of it because she’s clever enough not to make a clear, black-and-white diss that somebody can quote her on. But if you listen to her music, and are familiar with the history of both artists, Nicki can cop the plea all she wants but there are certain lines she says in a few of her songs where she is blatantly speaking on Cardi. I’m not saying that the way Cardi reacted at New York Fashion Week was the right answer, but at the same time you cannot continuously bate somebody and then be horrified at the reaction they choose to give you. If you don’t want smoke, then why are you bringing the heat? And let’s be real, we all know that Cardi is that bitch. So I don’t quite understand why people were shocked when all she did was prove that she’s not all talk. As Remy Ma said on State of the Culture, Joe Budden’s new show where she sits on the panel as a co-host, she was throwing shoes on Love & Hip Hop literally two years ago.

Speaking of which, Nicki responded with petty shade on Queen Radio a couple of days later, and one of the many things she mentioned was that she would never talk about somebody’s child or their skills as a mother (which was the final straw that threw Cardi over the edge and led to shoe-throwing the incident). Well, I know for a fact that this isn’t true because she clearly disses Remy Ma and indicates that she is a bad mother on her song, No Frauds. Of course she doesn’t mention her by name, but the appearance of Remy’s ex-friend Rah Ali in the music video makes it pretty obvious who the shade was directed towards. So essentially, what I’m trying to say is that Nicki acts as if that she isn’t an instigator, but she clearly is. There are also rumours from other female artists, not just Cardi, who have said that Nicki has literally tried to stop them from working with certain artists or not being attendance at award shows. Of course, this is probably something that we, as the public, will never know for sure.

So to conclude, both women are incredibly successful at this moment in time, and rightly so. Nicki Minaj is undoubtedly the better lyricist, however, in my opinion, Cardi’s last body of work easily surpassed Nicki’s. Cardi has really only just gotten started, so there’s no telling what she will bring the table next. However I am definitely looking for something more out of Nicki. We get it: you have a big fat ass, titties, money, haters and you love the dick. What else do you have to say?
With regards to this Nicki/Cardi beef, the only thing I would say Cardi is really guilty of is letting people’s comments get to her too easily. However, as this is something I have been guilty of on several occasions, I completely understand that brushing certain things off can be much easier said than done. I’ve loved Cardi since Love & Hip Hop, and regardless of her limits being pushed, that hasn’t changed. We are only human after all, and for the majority of us, talking about people’s children is usually their trigger, regardless of whether you are a celebrity or not. On the other hand, Nicki is extremely clever and calculating. She knows exactly how to push people’s buttons in the perfect way for them to react, but also leaving her able to hold up her hands and say that people are “bullying her” and “calling her that bad guy”. Nicki, I love you but knock it off. We see you. I just hope that she can finally calm down at some point, stop with the antics and allow us to simply focus on her music and everything we really love about Nicki Minaj.

Is Social Media Taking Over?

Okay, so I know the answer to this question seems fairly obvious…yes. We are most definitely in the era of social media at the moment. I think it’s safe to say that if you don’t have a Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or Snapchat account, you may as well not even be considered a member of the public nowadays.

The concept of this “social media takeover” seems to be widespread.  I’ve heard that most companies don’t even invest as much in advertisements nowadays, because the most powerful form of marketing at the moment is social media, which is completely free. Not to mention the fact that, as the great Charlamagne tha God always says, social media has also desensitised a lot of the younger generation, to the point where when something tragic happens, which is unfortunately becoming more of a common occurrence in 2018, instead of using their smartphones to call the police or an ambulance, people are filming the tragedy purely to “entertain” they’re Instagram or Snapchat followers. I use the word ‘entertain’ in inverted commas, because you cannot possibly describe some of the horrible things people have had the audacity to film recently, such as the murder of rapper XXXTentacion, as entertainment. If you do, then you should seek professional help immediately. It’s true you know: “smart phones, stupid people”. Another quote from tha God himself.

It’s funny because although these thoughts occurred to me quite some time ago, I have been thinking about it all pretty heavily just this past week in particular. I think it all started when I was watching the latest episode of BKChat New York the other day. For those of you that don’t know, BKChat is a show on YouTube where a group of young adults have a discussion/debate on topics that are relevant in society today. For example, rape culture has come up quite often in several episodes, on the back of the ongoing #MeToo situation. There are three different editions of the show: BKChat London, BKChat Houston and a BKChat New York. I have watched all three, and as interesting as it is to watch a heated debate on a controversial topic with different individuals, I can only conclude that, in my opinion, most of them usually have a very narrow-minded, old-fashioned, patriarchal and sexist way of thinking. Yes, even the women. That’s why I think I’d consider BKChat NY my favourite one, even though they have had the least amount of episodes. I feel as if these episodes feature the only BKChat panel where the majority of it’s members don’t think this way, are a lot more open-minded and a lot less judgemental. Basically, they talk that real shit, is how I would describe it. Whereas I feel as if the members of the panel on the other two, particularly the London edition, only speak on behalf of a certain kind of individual i.e. one who is probably black, religious(ish), completely in touch with their culture and tradition, and if they are female, they probably consider themselves superior to the rest of us because they can count the amount of men they’ve slept with on one hand. This last part is not applicable for the men. They can run through as many females as they damn well please, and still be welcomed in open arms at church on Sunday. It’s a great society we’re living in, right?

Anyway, I have sooo much more to say about BKChat, but I’m going to leave it there before I forget what I’m actually supposed to be writing about. In fact, I think I might make an entirely separate entry about it. Yeah, I think I’ll do that. But in the meantime: the reason I bring it up is because the topic they brought up in the latest episode was one I found captivating:

Who is to blame for the over-sexualisation of women in the entertainment industry? Is it the industry for enforcing it, or the women for allowing it? 

As I’m sure you can imagine, there were a variety of opinions on this particular subject. They certainly posed an interesting question, and while the debate was heavy, everyone seemed to be in agreement that the way women are portrayed in the media today has a great effect on women in society, particularly teenagers or young women still growing. From the Kim Kardashians to the Amber Roses to the Blac Chynas, a lot of women watching seem to be trying to follow suit and are therefore looking for their next hustle. When I was in school, young women would aspire to be doctors, lawyers, businesswomen, actors etc. They would strive towards a profession that they thought could both make them happy and live a fruitful life.

Now as I said, this is one of those topics where different individuals are bound to pose different opinions. So I can only speak on behalf of myself and state what I think personally. And personally, I do not knock anyone, woman or man, who is trying to get their hustle, no matter what it might be. Cardi B is a female icon that I personally admire, and she started off as a stripper, before moving onto Love & Hip Hop and then finally becoming recognised as the star she has become today. Cardi lived a pretty rough life back then and you know, bills had to be paid. Of course in an ideal world, I’m pretty sure most women would embark on a profession that didn’t objectify and sexualize women, but this is life we’re talking about. It is not fair, and it certainly isn’t easy. Most of the ones who sit on a pedestal and judge strippers or video vixens are in a fortunate position where they aren’t left with those kinds of decisions to make, because we have loving parents that can take care of us. Not that I’m saying that Cardi B didn’t have loving parents. But there are a lot of women that don’t really have family that they can depend on, often forcing them to be financially independent from a young age. Some women have children that they need to feed, and again, no one to rely on for money. So what should they do? Are you telling me that if you’re in the position where you have mouths to feed, and you literally have absolutely no idea where your family’s next meal is coming on, not to mention the other bills that need to be paid, making roughly a grand a night just to take your clothes of isn’t going to sound appealing to you? Of course it would. Hell I don’t have these kinds of problems, and it sounds appealing to me right now. A colleague from work once told me that she ran into a girl from her school and she was now a stripper. She just bought her own house and she’s 22 years old. So yeah, that should give you an idea of the kind of income they’re raking in.

Some women enjoy stripping as well, and so what if they do? I’ve never quite understood why what other people choose to do with their lives and bodies enrages certain others so much. If it’s not my business, I really don’t see what the big deal is. Some women enjoy being video vixens, or modelling raunchy pictures. So fucking what? I understand that some of the members of the BkChat panel were trying to make the point that a lot of women are starting to behave as if those are the only or best options available to them if attempting to head down the road to success. I definitely agree with that, and this should not be the case. However can you blame women for feeling this way? Because of the amount of female influencers on social media at the moment, not to mention the women on reality shows such as Love & Hip Hop and Real Housewives etc., the plastic surgery epidemic has never soared to greater heights than it has done today. I mean, women were always getting their boobs done, particularly after you’ve had children and they’ve started to wreak havoc on your nipples. (Not looking forward to that, I’m very fond of my tits to be honest). However when I was younger, there weren’t a huge load of women getting surgery on their ass to make it bigger. In fact, from what I remember, white girls didn’t even used to like having a big ass. It was construed as bad thing, even in the reign of J-Lo. But then, when icons like Nicki Minaj became more popular, it started to become more of a trend. And boom, all of a sudden here comes Kim K and ladies are running to the nearest plastic surgeon to get those butt shots.

Now as I said, unlike most Nigerians, I don’t judge anyone. If you want an ass the size of the moon, and you’ve got the funds, you go get that shit honey. If you want boobs like Pamela Anderson, you get those titties plumped. However I do think it is a sad concept that a lot of women only think this way because they feel that they need it to be successful, or even worse, to be deemed attractive or desirable. There were plenty of beautiful and sexy women in the spotlight with slim, lean bodies: Eve, Mya, Cameron Diaz, Zoe Saldana and the amazing Eva Marcille, winner of America’s Next Top Model Cycle 3 (love her!). But for some reason, when it comes to females that aren’t in the spotlight, having a ballooned up booty, but still keeping a tightly toned stomach, seems to be mandatory to be popular or sexy. But I kind of get it, I mean Amber Rose is certainly winning. Blac Chyna is winning (she’s moving stupid these days, but she’s still winning) and Kim K is most certainly winning. Her youngest sister is about to be the youngest self-made billionaire in the world, male or female, purely because Kim got her back blown out a few years ago by a certain little brother of the incredible Brandy. It’s no wonder that a lot of women are subliminally starting to think that shaping their body like theirs must be the way to win now.

This has been on my mind lately because when you actually keep your eyes peeled for it, this subliminal messaging is everywhere! Even on Fashion Nova. If you take a good look at the models that are advertising their clothes, sometimes when you compare what they look like in them to what you look like in them once you get it, you just want to crawl up in a ball and die. They pretty much all have the exact body types I was describing above, although the derriere is not quite as big. Just perfectly round and proportionate enough. Not only are they’re bodies perfect, but their makeup is flawless and their lace fronts are ON POINT. It’s enough to make you want to strangle yourself with your own wig sometimes. Well, me anyway. This is exactly what motivated me to write this in the first place. It suddenly occurred to me the other day, that when I was younger, I didn’t have as big of a butt as I do now. But my stomach was always pretty much flat, and I don’t really remember ever feeling so bad about myself and the way my body looks, as I have done this year. I mean, I know I didn’t really have many issues in that department at the time. As you get older, you discover that your body just isn’t what it used to be and it is much easier to gain weight. But even so, if I were to take off my shit tinted glasses, I bet you anything that I don’t really look any bigger than I was a couple of years ago. But because I don’t have a perfect booty with a cinched in waist, I am genuinely guilty of often lowering my own self esteem by making me feel bad about myself and the way I look. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want a bum like Chyna or Kim. That is way too much ass for me personally. However if I could get a body like Teyana Taylor, I think I could honestly die feeling as if my life was almost complete. I’m just saying, her body looks banging. Iman is a very lucky man.

Anyway, my point is, social media has indeed taken over. Not only does it have the power to make beautiful, confident women feel like they aren’t shit after flicking through their feed for two minutes, it also does a great job of making others oblivious of anything that is occurring unless it is on their iPhone screen. Certain people even feel incomplete if they don’t have a certain amount of followers on Instagram or Twitter. Like really? When did such small things becomes so important? If I didn’t need social media in order to promote my writing, I genuinely wouldn’t give a fuck about how many followers I have. As it happens, this is definitely something that needs to be worked on. I have less than a hundred followers on Twitter…so yeah, any tips or advice on that would be much appreciated. But as I said, it’s only an issue for me because I need it for professional purposes. Social media also tends to negatively affect people’s mindset in terms of where they are in life. When you see tons of Instagram feeds with people driving nice cars, women rocking Louboutins and Louis handbags, of course you feel a surge of longing for that to be you. Then when you realise it isn’t, the bitter disappointment and slight depression takes over. I personally just feel motivated and hope that will be me one day, once my writing takes off. But as I’ve written previously, when trying to embark on a new career and finding confusion down every new path, it can be very easy to be in your feelings and start to wonder whether that will ever happen.

Social media: it’s certainly a very powerful tool. But like most things, it can be a blessing and a curse. It can be incredibly useful when promoting a business or brand, or really anything at all. But it can also burn you. I’m sure several celebrities will tell you that they regret a lot of things they have posted or tweeted in the past. But unfortunately once it’s on the internet, there is no going back. The lengths that people will go to just to be famous in the realm of social media is getting disturbingly desperate. A lot of youngsters seem to be incapable of feeling any emotion, as being glued to their tiny screens all day seems to have drained it all out of them. Most people are incapable of going out and doing anything without posting on Instagram or Snapchat. I’m sure you’ve heard the expression, “If it wasn’t on Instagram, did it really happen?” And finally, the way a lot of well known or popular females are portrayed can inadvertently leave other onlooking women feeling insecure or inadequate if they don’t look exactly like them, despite the fact that most of them don’t even really look like that without “assistance”. So in short, it has taken over but we as a society need to gain some perspective and remember that we are all people as well, not just characters on an Instagram story. I just hope that at some point the majority of us can find a balance, so that we can take advantage of the many benefits that social media has to offer, as opposed to gradually letting it destroy us.