Yep, you read that title correctly. But let’s get into the backstory before I drag her. I know you guys might have thought I didn’t care about Love Island, seeing as though I was on a blog hiatus during the period it was televised in the summer. However, you are very much mistaken. It’s scary how excited I am that we will now be privy to two seasons a year instead of one, the new winter edition taking place in South Africa of January 2020. Just a little promo for those of y’all who didn’t know.
So for those of you who do follow the show, I’m sure you’ve been aware that this year’s winner, our queen Amber Gill, broke up with Greg a few days ago now. Well actually, according to The Sun, Greg harshly decided to dump her via text. Funnily enough, I hate the word “dumped”; it makes it sound so brutal. But when it becomes apparent that you are an asshole, who decided that he cannot be bothered to use the same phone you used to text me and instead FaceTime me or give me a call at the very least, I don’t think there can be any other word for it. Let’s be real, we knew they weren’t going to last very long. But after just five weeks…via text message? That’s cold Greg, like Limerick, Ireland cold. Not to mention stupid; you’re going to fall off the radar hard without Amber there to brighten your shine. I mean we all know she’s the reason you won in the first place. But I digress.
Because of Amber’s recent heartbreak (AGAIN, the poor girl just can’t catch a break), she’s been staying with Anna and her twin sister Mandi (okay so they’re not really twins, but come on, they look more identical than most actual identical twins) for some company and comfort. Absolutely no objection to this, not from me anyway. I mean, I didn’t love Anna. She was cancelled for me as soon as she opened her mouth to disrespect King Ovie. However, I totally get that when you go through something upsetting and embarrassing, of course you’ll want to stay with close friends and indulge in some self-pity and snacking. However, in response to some trolling that her and her sister have been receiving online lately, Anna decided to be a dickhead once again. I mean, she did something more idiotic than pick Jacked-up-Teeth Jordan over King Ovie. Wow, I didn’t think this one would be so savage, but I guess there’s a lot of people I don’t like on this year’s Love Island.
Okay, so I’m not even going to fully quote that dumb ass shit she had the nerve to put on her story, mostly because it’s here below. But also because I really can’t be arsed to dedicate myself all the way to her foolishness, so I’ll just highlight the two things in this ridiculously unnecessary paragraph that pissed me off. Firstly, Anna wrote that Amber was “lucky” to have her and her sister around her because they give her “love, support and a place to stay”. Errrrm, come again? Anna, babes…is Amber homeless? Ohh so you and your fake twin are running a homeless shelter now? Oh see I didn’t know. I thought that you were a pharmacist and your sister was a pretend influencer that no one had heard of until she started clout chasing off your 15 minutes of fame? Did she bump her head or did she forget that Amber has her own home, and family to give her love and support? Not to mention that Amber is also at least 25 Gs up on her financially, if not more? I’m confident that she can afford a perfectly comfortable hotel, so why is she acting like she’s her latest lovable stray?
But that wasn’t even the worst part. The worst part was the reach. The pure nerve, the sheer audacity, the unmitigated gall that this young lady had to play the race card. Yes, she actually wrote: “All I can put this down to is hate and racism towards us because we are Iranian, and don’t have the kind of support system as other ethnicities in this country”. I’m sorry…what? Pardon me? Da fuck you say bitch!? Firstly hun, all that saline must be leaking and seeping straight into your brain somehow. But whatever it is, you’d better put that race card back in the deck, because it is not your hand to play. You can only put this down to hate and racism? Really? You can’t just think that maybe some people don’t fuck with you and your sister, and have every right not to? Listen, I’m all for her defending the both of them. But if you don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about, which you clearly don’t, make sure your defence is brief, to the point, and keep it the fuck moving. Secondly, WHAT ETHNICITIES ARE THESE YOU SPEAK OF? No really sis, let’s talk. Because I want to know. If she’s talking about our community, then let me tell you, you are mistaken. Yes, we get endless support from our own race, one of the many things that I love about black people. We support and uplift each other – the primary reason so many black girls who watch Love Island fuck with Yewande and Amber, who is only 50% black! However, I wouldn’t go as far as to advertise that we have a “support system in this country”, because that just isn’t the case. England is one of numerous countries where white supremacy is still very much at large, and anyone with a brain surely knows that white people protect other white people. They don’t fuck with us. I know I’m kind of assuming here as Anna didn’t specify any particular ethnicity. But I’ll bet all the money in my account (not that I’d be losing that much, to be fair) that we are No.1 on that list, because most of the hate they are receiving is coming from the black community. So just to break it down, according to Anna, the people who are you and your sister are culturally appropriating are being racist toward you?? Aiight, imma head out.
I’d just like to finish this rant by saying that Amber did post in her story that her and Anna have the realest relationship that came out the villa, she’s her best friend (wow, swear you had a best friend before you went in the villa? That bitch just been tossed to the side? Alright then) and that everyone should go about their business. I wanted to give Amber the benefit of the doubt and assume that this post was made before she saw the post that the manager of the shelter had made. But sadly, another look at her post told me that this was not the case. Because Amber, sis, I stand with you. I really do. But if you really saw Anna talking about you like she was Captain Save-A-Homeless-Person and you’re absolutely fine with it, I may have to sit down. You know, like Michael told you to do.
Okay that last dig is a sign that that’s enough ranting for one day. I feel bad because I really do still love Amber, but fuck it, I’m going to leave it in there because I think it’s funny. Sorry. However, after all is said and done, I guess I only have one question on my mind. How long do you reckon it’ll take Michael to slide into Amber’s DMs? My guess is, that motherfucker’s already done it…so chaldish.